Kids always want to please both of their parents, and this is never truer when it comes to divorce. Often, when a child is with his mother, he will tell her, “I want to live with you.” Then when he is with his dad, he will say the same thing. Unfortunately, when this happens, it gets in the way of working through the child custody issues related to the divorce in a healthy way.
Sometimes it is obvious who the custodial parent will be. Maybe one parent has been more involved in the child’s life from the beginning, or maybe one parent travels a lot and doesn’t have as much time for the child as the other spouse does. In divorce cases filed in Albuquerque (and throughout New Mexico) the legal standard for determining child custody (if the case goes to trial) will be the “best interests of the child.”
If the ideal situation is not obvious to you and your spouse, or if you do not agree on how to handle custody, consider hiring a local child psychologist. He or she can talk with the child and determine what the best arrangement will be, based on the situation and on the child’s age and developmental needs. For example, the psychologist may determine that it would be beneficial for your child to live with the parent of the same sex or that a 50/50 child custody arrangement is not advisable. While Albuquerque courts may not require this, it is an excellent idea if you are concerned about your children getting through the divorce in good mental health.
Many times, people who are involved in divorce cases look to their attorneys for advice. But even if your attorney is a parent, he or she does not know what is best for your children. In the long run, working with a trained specialist will allow you and your spouse to do what is best for your child.